Nov 21, 2012

Forgiveness is an act of the will

In other news, I checked out 10 books from the library yesterday, four on writing by writers, four on brains (non zombie, Neuroscience stuff), one whose title *Bearing Witness* could go either way, oh yeah, that's the wife's story of her dealing with hubby's brain injury, and Erika Knight's *Men's Knits*. I remember reading the introduction to Ek's book prior to last night, so I must have checked it out before...oh well, still good ideas for Ha grid. Here's got a different style than the three brothers and my dad do, so this helps with holiday knitting. Though I'm well on my way to Christmas goodies for them all. I'm going to be working on writing more and more structured, story development, characterizations, and all the other things that make for good story crafting. I have ideas tilting around me so fluidly, that I'm amazed at their transience and their frequency. So, I'm listening to the muse. I'm also still trying figure out the neuroscience stuff that happened to me, so I'm looking for ides to write through on my path to figuring things out. I'm tired of having this burden. But, it is what it is. Knowledge is power and if I can just figure things out about my brain, I can get a handle on it. But what if I never do? Figure it out I mean? Where does that leave me? My faith says to offer up my sufferings. That phrase always confused me. Now, I'm learning it's about accepting what is here and knowing that others have it much worse than me, so if in some way my suffering helps those who are imprisoned for being female or someone else in a harsh situation then I gladly suffer this pain and heartache. I was praying the Rosary for the girls imprisoned and treated horridly in Syria, from a BBC news report about a month ago, and feeling this connection to the girls, offering my suffering to ease their tormented lives, when a small voice stopped me in the Our Father and asked could I forgive the tormentors 'as they trespassed against' the girls. This scared me out of bed. I scrambled to where K was and shared this thunderous question with her. She asked me "Can you?" She didn't think I was crazy, thank goodness! I learned forgiveness is an act of the will. Emotions will follow, but you can choose how you feel about something.