Sep 12, 2014
So, it's been 3 years ago today since I walked out of the hospital after contracting bacterial meningitis. How has my life changed since then?
I still am rather isolated. Not many folks visit me and I'm still easily tired by too much social interaction. This is a result of depression and fatigue from the migraines that are the fall out of the meningitis. I'm in pain a lot of days and try not to let others know since that's not really fun to talk about. Instead we talk about dealing with symptoms, daily events, current projects, and so on.
I'm more attuned to the spiritual realm. I see God in others easier than I used to. I also am open to knowing God in different ways than I had previously believed were valid. That is part of my ongoing growth as a Catholic, and part of my growth as a child of God. I have been challenged to pray not just for the victims of various crimes, but also for the perpetrators of crimes too. Even for those doing horrendous things, they are still able to be children of God, they just haven't realized it yet.
I'm about the same physically, though much less interested in being physical. The bright noonday sun is too bright for my eyes, so I wear a baseball cap, but that is not enough to protect my eyes from the photophobia. The lights inside stores are also horrible for my migraines. I do utilize physical therapy exercises in the morning and evenings, but going for a walk is still unusual. Doing more than a walk is unheard of, unless I'm on a vacation where there is a swimming pool.
I knit and crochet and spin now almost daily. These activities were sometimes activities before. Now, I know I'm doing well emotionally when I'm doing regular crafting. Though, when I don't craft, that is a good signal that I'm not feeling well.
So, overall, how am I doing now compared to 3 years ago? I am able to do more for myself than when I immediately had left the hospital. I may have walked out of the hospital, but it wasn't very fast or very far to the car. Now, unless I'm in great pain or feeling sick, I can walk pretty good for both distance and speed. Yet, I'm still not back to where I was pre getting sick. I'm variously frustrated, sad, angry, and accepting of this difference.
What are your ways of knowing you are in a healthy space? How has your life changed in the last few years?