Frustration ... Acceptance

Frustration leads to suffering.
Acceptance leads to peace.
Existentially.

Let me break that down.

I used to get really frustrated when I had migraines. Sometimes, I still do. I'm human. That frustration at having the migraines led to the suffering from the pain.

You can be in pain and not suffer.

I have been in pain and not suffered.

The secret, not-so-secret-secret, is to not resist the pain and therefore not get frustrated and just radically accept that yes, there is going to be pain, now how am I going to deal with it?

Am I going to rest, and let my body have a break?

Am I going to take some medication to assist my body in getting through the time?

Am I going to use ice or heat to reduce the pain?

All of those things require acknowledging that I am in pain an accepting that it is happening.

Pushing through the pain, creating more pain, and making things worse leads to frustration.

Frustration from not being able to do what I want when I want.

Frustration from my body being not as strong as I want in the moment.

Frustration from not accepting life as it is.

That's the simple definition of radical acceptance.

I'm human, so it's a continual lesson. I do learn it again when frustration sneaks in.

Acceptance is self-care.

Children of Bone and Blood, A Review

http://www.tomiadeyemi.com/books

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi is a great fantasy novel with a dystopian story line about a totalitarian patriarchy that is at a tipping point in the life of a set of teens and the kingdom.

Zelie has a chance to bring back an utopian state and strike down the monarchy. She has help along the way, but must survive many dangers to get through the harshness of life on the way to fighting the good fight.

Some of my favorite parts in this book start at the beginning with the training sessions with Mama Agba, the language, the sparing between Zelie and Amari until they begin to trust each other, and Amari's memories of Binta. 

There's a few ways oppression is manifest in this story. There's classism between the have's and the have-not's. Diviners are the lowest class, if that word can be used, can be born into any family, and, appear in the strangest places. Then there's the kosidan class, who are distinguished from the diviners by not having white/grey hair. Then there's the oloyes class, who are distinguished from the kosidan and diviners because they are the nobility and courtesans. Then there's the royals, who are able to command anything and the king has command over everything from life and death for everyone under him within the realm.

I used to think that I understood the all encompassing fear that women live with. But, being white, I don't have that fear all the time anymore. I used to, but healing has removed it from me. But, I am not one who has to fear that my life is in danger all.of.the.time now. Zelie experiences fear all.of.the.time and you experience that in the chapters written from her perspective. I now know that I am not having the same experience of most black and indigenous women of color in fearing their lives every single moment. Now, I will do what I can to lessen that fear.

I think this is a great book and it can change your life if you let it. Ms. Adeyemi wrote it to emphasize the blackness of the characters and reading the book, you cannot miss that everyone, almost, is black. There's a couple, out of the many hundreds of characters shown, who might not be black, but everyone else unabashedly, unashamedly black. You can read this book and be a racist at the beginning, but I don't think you will be the same at the end.

I am reviewing this book from my own library of books I have the privilege of owning. I give it five stars, out of five stars. 

2018 Creative Review

Last year, I kept records on my crafting primarily in my Ravelry profile.

I processed 19,626 yards in 53 projects of knitting or crochet projects.

Some were tiny projects that were for babies of others, household items, and winter clothes, along with a bunch of socks.

* 10 pairs of socks
* 3 sweaters
* 5 blankets
* 12 hats
* 11 neck things (cowls, scarves, shawls)
* 3 pairs of mittens or fingerless mittens
* 3 baby things

What did you create last year?