Traditional Thursdays, 3/21/2013

It's been a while since I blogged on here. I've been battling migraines, a tooth that needed rebuilding, and lack of insurance. I have been fighting the government for the disability ruling needed to be able to get state healthcare insurance. I have been fighting migraines that will not go away in my lifetime. The tooth hasn't been seen since 2011, May. That means I've not been to a dentist in over 2.5 years until today. Because I don't have insurance, I put my bill on a credit card. After my former company's insurance company's long term disability check comes and clears the bank, I can pay back the credit card. I'm tired of the games.

ugh! when will the pain stop?

I've been having a migraine since January 5. 42 days! That's longer than Noah's ark or Jesus' testing in the desert. I'm so frustrated, tired, and angry at having to go through this pain. Especially when there was never a cause found for the bacterial meningitis back in 2011. This sucks big time! Why do I have to go through this? I can't take much more of it God, so please stop testing me soon. Please? I'm exhausted.

Books I've been afraid to read ...

I've been watching lectures on Tolkien's World of Middle Earth lately via the Mythgard Institute. I have read fantasy and science fiction stories for a long time. I've just never read Tolkien, thinking of him as too obscure and hard to read for a regular, working class gal like me.

I'm learning differently through this course. My mind has been opened greatly. In the course we are covering a couple of Tolkien's essays, one of his letters, The Simarilion, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Beowulf.

Now, Tolkien didn't write Beowulf, but he was the first of scholars to look at the poem, for that is what it is, as a poem. Beowulf is an epic poem, about the adventures of Beowulf in killing the monsters Grendel and his mom, and a dragon, on the surface. Deeper understanding reveals that Beowulf is also about the incoming Christianity, Anglo Saxon invasions of England, and the nexus, the beginning of a truly English mythology.

In one place, the Beowulf poet has written that the opening character, Scyld, has departed life on Frean waere which may be translated either as into Frey's peace or "into the keeping of the Lord" as Chickering does in the traslation we are using in our course. Frey is the Norse god of fertility and prosperity of the time.

Further on, Chickering translates Men ne cunnon secgan to sooe, sele-raeden[d]e, haeleo under heofenum, hwa paem hlaeste onfeng as "Men cannot say, wise men in hall nor warriors in the field, not truly, who received that cargo." Cargo referring to the body and treasure trove of Scyld. My first thought on reading that line was that no one can say truly who, whether God, Lord, Frey, or other, or none, what or who receives us when we die. My mind was blown open by that thought.

There's more in there, but you'll have to check it out for yourself.

The Hobbit was a delightful adventure story, but now I'm betting there's more to it too. There's Gollum, who is very similar to Grendel. There's Smaug, also a dragon. There's an epic adventure with a hero, only Bilbo doesn't know he is a hero and Beowulf is sure of being a hero.

The letter Tolkien wrote to Waldman in 1951 gave Tolkien's view on how the bits and pieces of his works fit together. The Simarilion is the myths and legends of Middle-Earth. The Hobbit is history. The Lord of the Rings is present but past. At least that's how I understood it, not having read The Lord of the Rings yet.

I've been afraid to read these books because I thought them too hard and obtuse. I'm finding them too be many layered and full of delightful things to ruminate on. But, now, my brain is hurting and I need some tea. ;)

Wingspan Demystified

Hi there, folks!

I have been trying to make the Wingspan pattern for a while now. I started attempting it last August, 2012, during the Ravellenic Games. I tried it while on vacation in northern Maine isolated in a cabin with little to distract me, or help me. I got helplessly confused.

I put the project aside and worked on other projects, many of them, in fact. Then, this January, 2013, I found a thread on Ravelry using the radar function where folks were sharing about the confusion of the pattern. Some advised just doing it step by step, and taking it blindly following through the first two triangles, then getting the hang of it for the rest of the triangles.

I figured I'd make one for the American Girl dolls by using 30/5, instead of 90/16 in the original pattern. The shawl came out very pretty and has a rustic beauty in Knit Picks Palette in Rose Hip. Here's a pic of it on my sofa.

The layout of the shawl also reminds me of the dragon, Smaug in Tolkien's The Hobbit. In my turn in post for Quidditch in the Harry Potter Knitting/Crochet House Cup group on Ravelry, I mentioned that the shawl was the mascot dragonette, the Hogsmeade Smaugettes for the new Hogsmeade Quidditch team. My character's aunt, the Hogsmeade librarian, believes that Smaug was misunderstood and if he'd been asked nicely that he would've given back the gold and stuff. She thinks he just had an abscessed tooth ache. Oh well, we never will know now.

I hope you enjoy this adaptation of the shawl. I have conquered the concept of the shawl and feel I can accomplish a full size one in the near future. Just have to whittle down the WIP pile first! ;)

Blanketing Newtown in Love

Hey there, Sharon of Three Irish Girls fame has started a Facebook page and Ravelry group called Knitters for Newton. She has made two unique indie dyed color ways, Love Wins and The Giving Tree. Through sales of the yarn, 20% is donation, and direct donations, she is gathering $10,000 to help those devastated by the events at Sandy Hook Elementary. She is also organizing a group blanket drive with the idea of delivering the blankets in a few months when the media's attention has faded. I plan to help by making some squares and helping with the seaming together of them. I might budget some space and money for yarn. The Love Wins is a lovely soft rainbow that would make a nice remembrance shawl. The Giving Tree is brown, green, grey, and white, the colors of Sandy Hook's school colors and mascot, the eagle. It would make a nice, sweater for K. We often ask ourselves how can I help? I'm just one person. Through a multitude of small simple acts of kindness and love, the families of Newton will know they are blanketed with love from a nation of compassionate compatriots. Hopefully, the blankets will serve as reminders that love does win that life does give. We just don't always understand why or how at the moment, or even later. Please lift the families up in your prayers, if you pray, and in your thoughts with love and kindness if you don't. Thank you for reading. Jen

Bootstraps

I can easily wallow in my troubles. That won't do any good. I need to find a way to focus my thoughts and energy on something other than my disability. So, how do I do that? Get involved with real folks. I have few offline friends, and few who live nearby. I need to change that. How? Going places and lingering to get to know folks. I liked going to the knitting circle at the library on Thursdays. I also want to get involved in the monthly writers group there too. Get active. I need to move more. I am very sedentary and my body doesn't like me doing that. Walking is easy. I just need to do it. There's a treadmill in my garage. I need to get back into using it. Complete projects. I have a works in progress list that's really long. I have started working through it, frogging projects or completing them as time goes by. Read more. I have a stack of books from the library that would have taken me a week or week and a half pre meningitis. I still haven't finished the slenderest book and am nearing the return to library three week mark. I can read it's just harder for me b/c of eye strain leading to headaches easier and for some reason I'm slower at it. I have to reread more to get what's been communicated. Write more. I like writing. That's why I have a blog. :-) I have gotten away from writing for a while, but need to get back into it. I've been writing some knitting patterns, published one, and am on the way to working on another. It's been a while since I was this excited about anything.