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Aug 24, 2021

Moving through grief

 Today is near the beginning of the third week of the passing of my mom. I have traveled to see my family and saw nearly everyone, well all who let me see them.


Now, I am just going through the process of getting things done for living life after. I go back and forth between feeling like she’s just a phone call away, or in our case a text away, or then being a numb zombie, or then crying like I am trying to stop the droughts of the world. I am told that this is all valid ways to be, and that it will settle down eventually. 

In my more active times, I verbally tell myself what to do next. Today it was to get dressed for the day, sweep the floors, take my morning meds (even though it was after noon), stack and soak some dishes, and mop the floors. 


To mop the floors, I used a rag made from an old towel cut down to fit in a stick mop (swiffer is the brand I have), and then wet the rag with hot tap water, and then dribble some nice almond scented soap on the floor and spread it around with the mop. It does the job well enough, smells good, and is simple to do. The rag is washable until it falls apart and so it lasts a lot longer than the one time use pads made for the mop, and the soap has a milder scent than the pre-made pads, which helps with keeping the migraine threshold happy. 

I have some fans going through the house to help dry the floors. After they dry, the rag will go into the rags bucket in the pantry/ laundry room, which I need to add a bucket to the “buy someday” list on the fridge white board, as that bucket is cracked on the bottom and leaks if it has wet things in it. 

Then, I will tidy up the bathroom by making sure that the washcloths on the counter are fresh, clean the sink and toilet, polish the mirror, and check in the shower that everything is neatly ready for the next time it’s needed. The trash was already removed for it being trash day today, and I swept it as mentioned above. I might mop it later, but not sure yet. It doesn’t get dirty on the floor too much, and spills are cleaned up on the fly. 

Then I will deposit the washcloths from yesterday to the hamper for towels in the laundry/ pantry room on my way to the kitchen. There I will wash my hands and start the dishes that have been soaking for a while now. I did clean the skillet that was used earlier by soaking it with hot water and vinegar to loosen the grim and baked on bits from some pork chops, then used a long handled brush to scrub it until the icky bits come up. It still needs to go through the soapy water though. 

After the dishes are done, or as a break from them, I also want to vacuum the living room rug. For that I need to move a pile of things from the floor to onto the sofa, and pick up some dog toys to clear space on the floor. Then I might sprinkle the rug with either baking soda, baby powder, or salt, all freshen rugs and make the room smell good too. I use non talc baby powder too because talc is not good for folks to use and we know that now. 

Throughout the whole process, I take breaks when my body feels stress in the lower back, or I feel tired, or so and I don’t get too tired from doing anything too much in the process. This is the most intense day in my weekly process, and it takes a good part of the morning with interruptions from pup and neighbors as they happily happen to go through the whole process. On the rest of the week it’s less than a half hour or so to sweep the kitchen and hallway since they share flooring, put away the dishes, do the dishes throughout the day, do at least one 5 minute pick up in a common area, and tidy the bathroom. Well, doing dishes throughout the day might add up to more than a half hour for the whole day, but each moment isn’t that much time. 

And now that I have written this blog post, my floors have dried. I can get back to work and stop taking a break. Pacing is good, and working is good too. 

What do you do to get through tough times?

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